i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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