So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
These tits shall not be calmed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
