enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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