You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
what day is it and did you see me today?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
