I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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