I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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