let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize