Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
