the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
