just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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