hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
