Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize