after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
