the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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