I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
