Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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