By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
