There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
