Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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