is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
