if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
either way he was missing a nipple.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize