He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
