i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
