i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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