i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
