I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
