...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
