i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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