I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
