this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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