Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
