Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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