and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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