The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
