took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize