We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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