I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
