Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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