I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize