he wants to bone in the snuggie
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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