When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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