"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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