you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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