My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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