Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
