Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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