I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
