i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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