I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
