So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
