I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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