A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
