i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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