Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
