i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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