What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
