Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize