that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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