lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
