So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize