A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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