hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
