Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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