so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize