I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it's great music for shaving your balls
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
