just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
